Chewy’s Blog

Best

#10 “Negotiations” on Trade Federation ship.
When those sabers busted out, I almost jumped from my theater chair and yelled, “Oh yeah, it is time, get ready droid jerks, you going see what’s up, come and get some bitches!”  They were wrecking up the ship until the droid dekas showed up with freaking ray shields…(WTF!)

#9 Grevious versus Kenobi
Kenobi was bad-ass to jump down in the middle of it all to bust up the joint.  Nice finish with Kenobi going against his beliefs and using a blaster to kill him.

#8 Arena battle on Genosis
Some Great, chariot gladiator-esque heroics.  Yet another Yoda bail out (dude, he rocks, but can keep doing it all).

#7 Vader Versus Kenobi 1 on Mustafar
This was an epic battle, some of which mimic the other epic battle between Vader and Luke on Cloud city.

#6 Jabba sand barge
Excellent battle, sneaky R2 saber launch (eat it Jabba!), Bobba Vette, Lando, Chewie, oh and Leia in Slave outfit.

#5 Hoth battle
Best battle scene ever.  The best being Han Solo still throwing down the mack on Leia, while Vader was right around the corner.

#4 Jango Vett Versus Obi-Wan Kenobi
This has to be one of the best one on one battles in the entire series.

#3 When Anakin turns to the dark side and is named Darth Vader by Darth Sidious.
“Do what must be done, Lord Vader. Do not hesitate. Show no mercy!”  There are possibly the greatest lines in the new trilogy.

#2 When Yoda agrees to train Luke.
It was pretty bone chilling when Yoda asked Luke if he was scared, then said “You will be, you…will be”

And the #1 best scene in entire series…
The first Vader versus Luke battle in “The Empire Strikes Back”.
This is where we see Luke encounter his biggest struggle, both physical and mental.  He looses his hand and can not handle his father being Darth Vader.  He would rather die than take his fathers hand.  He tries to off himself.

The Worst

#10 Mace Windu v. Palpatine
Mace and 3 other bad-ass Jedi are going to take down a possible sith lord.  I am fine with Palpatine taking them all out, but what the F was second Jedi looking at when his bud was sabered up.  The dumbass just watches as his bud just bites it.  Watch it again, if you missed it, he is LOOKING THE WRONG FREAKING WAY…weak dude…who coria-craped that horse donkey shite.  Then to end the scene with some of the worst lines ever “I am going to end this once and for all”, “no, don’t kill me, I’m too weak”, “Power, Unlimited power”…Bollocks!

#9 Yoda v. Dooku

While it was sorta cool, it still bites because it was not a saber fight.  It reminded me of a guy trying to swat a crazy fast jumpity frog.  Nope not fun.

#8 Battle Droids versus Gungans
Ouch time?! wtf, “we’sa have a grand army”, shut the F up Jar Jar, your weapons are shite, who the F is afraid of blue dodge balls.  Kiss my ass with that load of crap.  Their should have been ZERO Gungans left and the freaking battle should have lasted like 2 minutes.  Also, can someone tell me why deactivated droids falls apart…Who wrote that down and who did not say “idiots, they were just turned off, all the freaking screws are still in there, so no, that is dumb, your fired you nut and take the idiot with “lets try left, yeah that seems like a good move” with you”.

#7 Droid foundry on Genosis

We see R2D2’s hover jets for the first time, great, but what the hell was that garbage with C-3PO?  Again some of the worst CG and totally unbelievable situation with 3PO.  How can a stiff walking reject protocol boy be able to hold on for dear life and how come his head pops off so easy?

#8 Vader versus Kenobi 2 on Death Star 1
Why, two old men moving so slow, that after watching how fast a saber battle should be (Yoda v. Dooku), this is just too geriatric for me.  They should have just stopped and sat down and talked about old times until the sun went down.

#7 R2-D2 versus the Super Battle Droids in the hanger bay of Invisible Hand
This was some of the hokiest CG and some of the dumbest behavior of droids.  In fact, this had to have set back movie robots like 10 years.

#6 Jango Vette v. Mace Windu
Either Mace should have killed him like the badass jedi he is supposed to be or Jango should have handed him his ass but gets balled out by Anakin.  Jango should have not died simply because his “loaner” jetpack was busted up.  This scene left piles of dung in another scene just to set up this ill conceived wardrobe malfunction.  They had to show him loose the “good” jetpack when “some-freaking-how” his jetpack just pops the hell off (WHAT!?) in a previous battle with Kenobi.  This scene reminded me of the WWE when none of the big names wanted to loose straight up, so they set up some gimmic (like the brass knucks in the shorts trick) to let one win while the other still saves face, sorta.  So they kill Boba Vette like a puss, then kill his father the same freaking way, give me a break.  Even Mace was surprised that Jango bit it that fast.

#5 Order 66
While the idea was good, the scenes seemed so forced (except Yoda’s), pelch!
How come Commander Cody just needed to say “Blast em” to get the gunner to shoot his General (Kenobi)? DUMB.
Why was Ki-Adi-Mundi charging ahead like a freaking civil war general? DUMB.
Why did Aayla Secura impelish her fall (before a blaster hit her) like a NFL punter? DUMB.

#4 Anikan “flying” naboo fighter (At end of Episode I).
Because it was crap.  There is no way an armature (at best) star pilot can accidently destroy the entire freaking droid command ship.  His ass would have been shot down as soon as he released auto pilot.  No, this is NOT pod racing, you little bastard.  I keep telling my self that R2-D2 did all the work, and little Anni was just playing with fisher price buttons.

And the #1 worst scene in entire series
(and also sucks donkey spit)…
When Anakin talks to Padme in her apartment on Coruscant.
Look how stupid this looks on paper…how did this even make it the set?
ANAKIN: You are so beautiful!
PADME: It’s only because I’m so in love . . .
ANAKIN: No, it’s because I’m so in love with you.
PADME: So love has blinded you?
ANAKIN: Well, that’s not exactly what I meant . . .
PADME: But it’s probably true!

Tags:   Bollocks · Freaking · Movies · Starwars4 Comments